So here it is:) In Scotland, dirt is another word for a slut or whatever. Going by the lack of answers to my last post, I'll just keep going the way I am.
Hayley Williams. How to describe that girl. Her red hair falls to her shoulders and her green eyes stand out against her pale skin. She's a tiny little thing. But there's one thing in particular that stands out about her. She's a dirt.
She's slept with just about everybody in our year. She picks everybody off one by one and then leaves them hanging. The things is, everybody knows this, but they still sleep with her. There's just something that people can't resist.
And everybody knows I'm her next target. She'll come over to our lunch table, play with my dirty blonde hair and kiss me.
I hate it, because somewhere inside me, I enjoy it. And I know that's so bad for me, cause she'll just drop me again.
Nobody really knows why she does it, she just does.
I watch her walking over to our table, a smirk on her face. I glance at Josh and grimace. No no no.
'Hey, gorgeous,' she smirks, plopping down next to me. 'Hey, there's a party tonight, if you want to come?' she winds a bit of my hair round her finger.
'We're busy tonight,' Josh puts in quickly.
Hayley glances at him and rolls her eyes. 'Let the poor boy speak.'
I hear the words coming out of my mouth and wince. 'Yes, I'd love to!' No! No, no, no, why am I saying this? I can't even glance at Josh, I just stare at the table.
'Awesome, I'll come pick you up tonight,' she drops a kiss on my cheek, leaving it stinging. I watch her leave and wonder what on earth I just got myself into.
'Jeremy,' Josh hisses at me.
I wince as I look at his angry face. 'I'm sorry, it just kinda came out. You'd understand if it was you,' I say defensively.
'That's not the point!' he cries exasperatedly. 'You know how bad this is going to be for you, but you're just walking straight into the danger! What is your problem?'
I glare at him. 'I told you,' I snap, 'It just kinda came out, okay?'
'You can't go,' he tells me.
I roll my eyes. 'Josh, there's no way out, okay? I'll just go and then get sick or something and have to go home...'
'You're walking such a fine line,' Josh warns me.
'I know!' I burst out, standing up and storming away. He always has to poke his nose into other people's business, doesn't he?
There's a toot of a carn horn outside, and I wince. My big moment. I walk slowly downstairs and open the door. 'Bye, Mom,' I call over my shoulder.
'Bye,' she yells as I shut the door behind me.
I walk down the path and cautiously open the car door. Hayley smirks at me. 'Come on.'
I hop in, and she drives away. 'Where is the party?' I ask.
'You know Zebedee Merkinch? It's at his house, cause his parents are away this weekend,' she tells me as she turns left.
'Oh, yeah,' I say, vaguely remembering a guy with floppy brown hair and pale skin.
She smiles. 'It's gunna be great.'
I nod mutely.
'Aren't you excited?' Hayley asks, frowning at me.
I pause for a minute, trying to pick my words carefully. 'I am. I just...'
'Jerm, we're not monesters!' she laughs.
I laugh weakly. 'I know, I know. I'm just being stupid.'
She pulls up onto the kerb. 'We're here!' she cries, cutting the engine, and reaching onto the back seat to grab her bag. She hops out of the car, and laces her fingers through mine.
I feel a shiver run down my spine and wince. I shouldn't feel this way about her- it's bad. It'll just end messily.
She runs up the garden path, with me in tow. 'Come on Jerm,' she pushes open the door and leads me inside.
'Williams!' a general cry rises up from the people milling around.
She grins at them all. 'Hey, guys. Do you want a drink?' she turns to me.
I nod. 'Yeah, sure.' One drink surely can't hurt, right?
'Here,' she passes me a beer from the table beside her. 'I'm just going to put my jacket down, wait here for like one sec, okay?'
She doesn't actually seem all that bad. She's being quite nice, actually. A lot nicer than in school, anyways. 'Okay,' I nod.
Hayley comes back a minute later. 'Hey,' she smiles, grabbing a beer. 'What do you think?'
I shrug. 'Not really something I'm into, but it's not bad.'
'You don't really go to parties?' she asks incredulously.
I shake my head. 'No, I don't really. I just enjoy doing other stuff.'
'Like?' she prompts.
I shrug. 'Playing bass-'
'You play bass?' Hayley grins. 'You can play bass guitar?'
I nod, suddenly shy. 'Yeah, I do. A bit.'
'You'll have to show me one time,' she smiles. 'I can't even pick that thing up, it's so big! I can play guitar, but not bass, no.'
I laugh. 'It's not actually all that hard.'
'Yeah, it is,' she whines. 'I just don't get it! I mean, what's up with there only being four strings? It doesn't even make sense!'
'It's easy,' I smile. 'You just have to get used to it.'
She shrugs. 'I can't get it. Anyways, another beer?'
'Yeah,' I nod. I'm not really sure why I just agreed. It's only one more, though. It can't do me much harm, can it?
'Jeremy,' Hayley whispers, dragging me along behind her in a drunkenly state. I can't really say much more for myself, though.
I follow her, my mind fuzzy. I really don't know where we're going.
She pushes open a door and drags me inside.
I glance around. We're in a bedroom. I frown. Wait, what? Why are we in a bedroom?
Hayley crashes her lips against mine. 'I love you,' she mumbles in between kisses.
I respond, against my better judgement.
Her hands tug against my t-shirt, and I don't even bother trying to resist. I let her take my clothes off, and help her take hers off.
She pulls me onto the bed and starts kissing me again. 'I love you.'
Inside, I'm fighting with myself. Why am I letting this happening? Josh had warned me that it would only ever end badly.
Why am I doing this? I need to sort my head out. I just can't think straight as her hands explore my body.
What am I doing? Why am I letting this happen?
But I lie there, not doing a thing.
I grab my clothes and I quickly pull them on. I don't even look at Hayley as I dash out of the room. I'm scared, scared she's just used me.
I know I'm doing the wrong thing, but I keep walking.
I turn around and see her standing behind me, now fully clothed. 'Yeah?'
'Did you enjoy it?' Hayley smirks.
I shrug. 'It was allright.'
A laugh escapes her lips. 'You're lying. You can just tell me. You really enjoyed it, didn't you? Well, that's a shame that this will never happen again,' she raises an eyebrow, smirking.
I watch as she brushes past me, and I glare down at the ground. I guess I expected it. It was obvious. It was stupid, though.
I shouldn't have let her do that to me.
Playing in shadows is a dangerous game and it got the better of me this time. I watch her walk down the corridor and sigh.
It was never right. We were never meant to be.
A game, a dangerous game was all it ever was.