Your Biggest Mistake 26

I'm sorry for those of you who wanted Backseat updated but this is almost done, so you'll all be happy then, right? Just two more chapters including this one and an epilogue. Yay. Kidding, I love this story. Anyways, enough babbling, but first, thanks to those who dropped me a note and commented on my last post, love you. Buzznet won't let me post a banner, but you all know what they look like by now anyways:) 

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I look at Alex and bite my lip, trying not to let the tears overflow. I can't cry. I have to stay strong, for him. I know part of him doesn't want to go, but I have to prove to him that I'll be fine.

He glances at me, his face full of concern. 'Hayles, are you sure about this, cause I can always cancel and spend time with you, making sure everything goes smoothly and-'

'No!' I interrupt, frustration starting to boil up in me. 'Alex, I will be fine. If not, the guys can help me, okay?'

He sighs. 'Okay. Well, I guess this is kinda it for a while.'

I glance at him and notices the sadness in his eyes. 'Yeah,' I say faintly, at a loss for words. Inside, I'm silently begging him not to go. I've got used to him being around. I guess I had kinda forgotten that it wasn't a permanent arrangement. 'I guess it is.'

Alex wraps his arms around me.

'I'll miss you,' I mumble into his chest. I'll miss being able to hear his heart beat when we hug. 'You promise you'll text me and email me?'

He chuckles softly into my hair. 'Of course I will, Hayles. I'll miss you too.'

Completely ignoring his band mates who are waiting for him, I reach up and kiss him, never wanting to let go. I eventually pull back and glance sadly at him. 'Bye Alex.'

'Bye,' Alex smiles. 'I'll be back before you know it.'

I smile weakly and watch as he turns away and climbs into their tour bus. He waves from the window as the bus pulls away. I stand and watch until I can no longer see it. 

'Come on,' Josh says softly.

I smile and follow him into my house. It feels weird to be back here, after spending so long at Alex's. I follow Josh up to my bedroom and I turn the laptop on.

I sit down on the floor, with my back pressed against the wall. I bite my lip and glance at him. 'Josh, I think we should consider writing a new album. We'll hardly be doing any tours, so shouldn't we take the opportunity?'

'I think so,' he agrees, nodding. 'We've got a fair bit of material anyways.'

I smile as I quickly log onto the Paramore website. 'They're going to hate us, though,' I bite my lip.

'No, they won't,' he assures me. 'They'll be happy for you.'

I sigh as I try to think of a title for the blog. I end up writing in 'Half Apologies'. I glance at the screen for a minute, before I begin to type slowly.

Well, guys. We've got some quite big news for you. A while ago I was dating Alex Gaskarth, from All Time Low. Well, I can officially say that we are back together. I hate to have to write this on a blog, rather than to tell you guys in person at a show. You see, the thing is, we won't be doing many more shows at the moment. Jumping around all over the stage probably wouldn't be good for myself, or the baby. Yeah, you guessed it. I'm pregnant!So we're going to have to cancel our shows and we're so sorry about that, for those of you who bough tickets. If you click here you can get your money back. So you might be wondering what are we going to do with all this free time? You've probably guessed this one as well! We've got quite a bit of material, so we made a decision to head into the studio, to work on our third album! Wow, it's kinda crazy! So that's why it's called Half Apologies, because we're cancelling shows, but I'm going to have a baby and there's a new album on the way! We hope you're okay with this.  Love you all, 

Hayley, Josh, Taylor, Zac, Jeremy.

(ps it's only Hayley who's pregnant!)

Josh chuckles softly. 'I like it. Just go ahead and post it.'

'Sure?' I check. 'Won't the others want to have a look?'

He shakes his head. 'We've already been over this.'

I nod and press Post Blog before I can change my mind.

//

The months pass slowly. I miss Alex and sleeping alone is weird. As for our record, we've almost finished all of it now. We've spent three months in the studio and we've just a week or two to go.

The feedback on the break was mixed. Everyone was disappointed we'd cancelled our shows, but they were all also happy, because of the new record. Most people are fine with the baby situation.

My belly is growing bigger, as has my appetite. I'm eating almost twice what I usually am.

I glance at Josh, who's playing away on his acoustic. He's so concentrated, so focused on what he's doing. I stare at the mic in front of me and produce a half smile. I love doing this, but I miss the stage. We all do. 

Josh stops playing and suddenly looks at me. 'I've got it,' he declares. 

'Go what?' I frown. 'You've lost me...'

He grins. 'The name of our record. I tihnk it should be called Brand New Eyes'

'That's great!' I enthuse. 'Where did that come from, though?'

He chuckles softly. 'I'm not quite sure. It just kinda came to me, I guess,' he shrugs.

I smile. 'That's cool. But I'm really hungry.'

'Same,' he agrees, standing up. 'I think we've earned a break.'

I stnad up and hum under my breath. I walk to the little kitchen in the studio and look in the bread bin. I grab a beagel and take some ham from the fridge. I slap them together and take a bite. 'Mmm... That's good.'

Josh chuckles as he makes his own sandwich. 'How's Alex doing?'

'Good,' I nod. 'They're loving South America- the shows are amazing and theyve got such good crowds and stuff. So yeah, he's enjoying every minute of it,' I finish the sentence rather bitterly.

 'Hayles, he will be missing you, he just won't want to worry you,' as usual, Josh picks up on the problem right away.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. 'I know, I know.'

'Oh, while I remember, once we're done here, we could organise acoustic shows and stuff,' he suggest. 'You can still do that, can't you?'

I laugh. 'Yeah, I will be able to.'

'Awesome,' he takes a bite out of his sandwich.

//

'When I was younger, I saw my Daddy cry and curse at the wind, he broken his own heart and I watched as he tried to re-assemble it,' I sing into the mic. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jeremy smiling.

I know why. It's because I wrote The Only Exception abut Alex, like half the songs on the album, but this is the only loe one. I try to ignore it as I continue singing. It's kinda distracting, actually.

I manage to finish it and I turn to him, glaring. 'You put me off, you idiot!'

'What?' he frowns. 'How? I wasn't even doing anything!'

I glare at him. 'Your stupid grin was really distracting! Yes, it's about Alex, yes it's a love song. Maybe it took ages for me to find love and trust in it, but now that I have, you don't have ti take the rip out of me the whole time, okay?'

Jeremy shakes his head. 'No, that's not it at all. I was smiling because I'm really happy. I'm so glad you've found love. It's really nice.'

This takes me by surprise, admittedly. 'Really? Are you?'

'Yeah, we all are,' Zac chimes in. 'And we also love the song.'

Taylor nods. 'Yeah, we're not laughing. We're honestly just really happy for both you and Alex.'

I glance at them, a smile edging into my face. 'Wow, thanks, guys. That really made my day.'